i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
