they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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