i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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