the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
