I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
