she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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