did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize