Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
