using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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