those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
