quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize