but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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