can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
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No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You ate ashes out of my bong
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.