So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
