i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
