Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The power of my boobs compel you
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
