Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
