Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
