Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
White coat. Heels.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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