i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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