Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
