So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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