ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
