"it" just moved
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
