I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize