it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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