Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
