went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
