oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
