is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
