Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
