so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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