Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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