she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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