There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i love accidental penises.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
