I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
