Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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