it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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