You just made me feel so damn special
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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