Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
