these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
