when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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