wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
