so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Shame - the story of my life.
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