I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance