If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.