man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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