my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize