Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize