This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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