i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
