i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
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I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
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Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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