after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
