I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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