Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
