Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm at about main and main street
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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