all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
