Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
