she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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