he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We left an ass print on the piano.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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